I’m a daughter (no shit Sherlock). But I’m a daughter who has living parents (ok I’m only 49, no biggie). I also have my own version (aged 15, may the god of hormones give me strength). I’m lucky because at the time of writing I have yet to experience the full horror of what being a mother to me at 15 was like.
Brief overview of my background: my parents split when I was 7 and my brother 5. My dad went off with another woman and my mum ended up marrying the other woman’s husband. Ok, I can almost hear the cogs….. yes it was the 70’s…… no I’m reliably informed there were no fruit bowls or coffee tables containing keys and no we didn’t have pampas grass in the front garden. So I grew up with only one of my natural parents. Not a massive deal. No. But the thing is I do fully appreciate that I was difficult. I struggled as a teen, and a lot of negative behaviours manifested that I shall gloss over here but it must have been tough for my mum, a woman who at the time I saw as a victim of my dad’s betrayal.
Fast forward 40+ years and it’s time to do something good. Of course I should point out that I’ve not been a bitch daughter for the ensuing four decades but following a mentoring session this week I came away with a mini action plan for 2017 involving my wonderful parents. So, I’m going to ask them to each pick three activities they would like to do with me (assuming here that they do actually want to spend quality time with their only daughter) over the remainder of this year.
I don’t just mean having coffee I mean ACTIVITIES. For example, my dad runs a walking club and very recently they did a Chew Valley Lake walk so I’m going to book a day off work over Easter and he and I will do this walk together. The first activity with my mum…… we are off to Durham! My exceptionally clever son graduates this year from Durham after a 4 year MMath so mother and I are having a mini break via our preferred mode of transport – the train.
I’m asking them to come up with whatever they like and we will do it together. I’m building some more memories, making time for them, having things for us both to look forward to and plan together. I’m doing it because I’m way too busy to think about this usually and THE GUILT of that is GINORMOUS! At some time in the future time will run and my life mantra has always been ‘no regrets’.