A chat with a close friend recently has revealed some of the above. Listed below in no particular order are my irritations of the micro kind.
- The word ‘helmet‘. You are wearing a cycling hat – please don’t say helmet.
- ‘Bell-end’ – let’s just to with ‘end’ or ‘tip’
- ‘Alrighty‘ – just ‘alright’ is fine no need to add a bloody ‘y’
- Steering over-compensators – when you are turning right, unless you are driving an articulated lorry THERE IS NO NEED TO SWING OUT LEFT
- Putting two questions into one sentence that ask exactly the same thing e.g., Have you emptied the dishwasher have you? STRIKE
- Jeff Stelling – a surefire way to raise my blood pressure and not in a good way. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SHOUTING
- Crumbs – underfoot is the worst but equally the crumb-spatter which appears to be invisible to others following toast buttering. ARE YOU BLIND?
- Passive-aggression – ok that may fall into the ‘major’ category
- Hot dog sausages – they aren’t even a thing
- White pepper – why bother?
- Slip-on Sketchers – M or F equally vile.
- Scampi – not a real thing eat something proper
- Spitting in the street. Properly disgusting.
- Driving under the speed limit (or generally over-cautiously)
- “As far as I am aware” stop covering your ass and FIND OUT
- Starting a sentence with “At the end of the day“
- Not knowing the difference between they’re, there and their but even worse is….
- Too and to
- And don’t even get me started on ‘EXPRESSO”
Going for a lie-down