Preparation of the little one – Phase 1 : Corned beef pie

I had a brief and alarming thought this week that I’m not sure if my daughter could survive in the outside world without me (or other adult help). Let me quantify this. What I mean is that in just over a year there is a very likely possibility that she will leave home to go to university or similar and I wonder if she is ready.

Continue reading “Preparation of the little one – Phase 1 : Corned beef pie”

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Micro-irritations

A chat with a close friend recently has revealed some of the above. Listed below in no particular order are my irritations of the micro kind.

  1. The word ‘helmet‘. You are wearing a cycling hat – please don’t say helmet.

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  1. ‘Bell-end’ – let’s just to with ‘end’ or ‘tip’
  2. Alrighty‘ – just ‘alright’ is fine no need to add a bloody ‘y’
  3. Steering over-compensators – when you are turning right, unless you are driving an articulated lorry THERE IS NO NEED TO SWING OUT LEFT
  4. Putting two questions into one sentence that ask exactly the same thing e.g., Have you emptied the dishwasher have you? STRIKE
  5. Jeff Stelling – a surefire way to raise my blood pressure and not in a good way. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SHOUTING
  6. Crumbs – underfoot is the worst but equally the crumb-spatter which appears to be invisible to others following toast buttering. ARE YOU BLIND?
  7. Passive-aggression – ok that may fall into the ‘major’ category
  8. Hot dog sausages – they aren’t even a thing
  9. White pepper – why bother?
  10. Slip-on Sketchers – M or F equally vile.Screen Shot 2018-04-18 at 16.46.49
  11. Scampi – not a real thing eat something proper
  12. Spitting in the street. Properly disgusting.
  13. Driving under the speed limit (or generally over-cautiously)
  14. As far as I am aware” stop covering your ass and FIND OUT
  15. Starting a sentence with “At the end of the day
  16. Not knowing the difference between they’re, there and their but even worse is….
  17. Too and to
  18. And don’t even get me started on ‘EXPRESSO”

Going for a lie-down

 

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Bearing down on 50

So by this point in the dive towards 50 I had expected to be two stone lighter, have been to Ibiza with one friend, Newquay with another and to Spain with the nipper. I have done NONE of it. Am I beating myself up about it? No, absolutely not.

Continue reading “Bearing down on 50”

Tick Tick Tick….

Let’s talk about eggs.

Most eggs have a sell-by date, you know they are good for maybe up to a week after that but can be extremely offensive thereafter…… kind of like a woman whose eggs are going off….. at MENOPAUSE!

Now gentlemen, don’t look away….. this is for you. Continue reading “Tick Tick Tick….”